Best Day Ever

I'd like to tell you all about the best day ever.

Here's a little background information. So you all know that I recently broke up with someone well the icing on the cake that is when we broke up I realized that I had about $500 worth of outdoor gear stored at his house. So I asked him to ship it, he agreed. Well when it came time to put the box in the mail lets just say that funds on his end ran short and he sent me a text which started off with 'since I was nice enough to let you store your things at my house'. Talked about how it wasn't his responsibility... blah blah blah. You all get the picture. Frankly, he was right, it's not his responsibility. My shit, my responsibility. BUT.... since you were nice enough to let me store stuff at your house (what?! we were together, you have a two bedroom house, I have a two door car... I'm having a hard time finding where it was such an problem but whatever.) So I offered to send money or go and get it. You guessed it, I had to go and get it.

And so that's how the best day ever started out. With a 3 hour car ride to get my stuff.

When I got there he politely asked how I was, to which I responded in very gruff fashion 'FINE!' Clearly I wasn't fine but if I had said 'I'm really feeling stressed and awkward right now and I don't really want to see you because seeing you and being here makes me feel uncomfortable' I have the feeling that would have just opened doors for more conversation, which I wasn't up for. And it's always easier to believe you will have more composure when times like this happen, apparently I overestimated myself. So I was there a grand total of about 7 minutes. I dropped off some tupperware and a coffee mug that he had let me borrow. The most amount of communicating I did was with his dog, Lupin who I do really miss. She's a sweetheart.

Next driving another 3 hours to my cousin Nathans house in Vermont. I got to stew about how terribly rude I was and how things could have gone SO MUCH BETTER if I was able to keep some level of sanity, the entire ride was like this.

Upon arrival at my cousins I notice there is a horrible smell coming from... somewhere. It's the unmistakable smell of dog poop. I check my shoes... nothing. I was really hoping that's where it was because if it wasn't it meant that the smell was coming from somewhere in the house. There are two dogs living here, Zeus the boston terrier and Apollo the lab/ golden mix. It wasn't a total surprise if I found dog poop on the floor. The dogs are crated during the day and so I could hear them getting excited upstairs, but I was on the lookout for dog poop. They were just going to have to wait. No dog poop was found. Then I went upstairs and the smell was worse up there. I found where the smell was coming from, the crate. Apollo had diarrhea and it was all over BOTH dogs. This was going to be bad.

I knew that they both had to go out immediately and then they were going to both need baths. There was nothing else I could do but open up the crate both dogs came bursting out and like all dogs that are covered in shit they jumped on me. Awesome. Now I have shitty pants. I put them both out and made sure that they were very well done with any business I was also hoping the snow would clean off their paws. Then one at a time, Zeus first, they got baths. Zues is very good in the bath. Apollo on the other hand isn't. I had to lift him into the tub consequently getting poop pretty much on all the parts of my jeans that didn't already have dog poop on them. Zeus also came in the bathroom while Apollo was being washed and just watched. His little dog expression was one of empathy for his brother, as if he were there for moral support. Both dogs left the bath much cleaner.

I also put more wood on the stove so that they could be warm while they dried off.

I then cleaned up the crate as best as I could. An entire roll of paper towels later and lots of simple green I felt I could leave the rest for my cousin. The whole crate really needs to be taken apart and scrubbed, which I really don't know how to do, nor do I want to do it.

I then took off my dog poop pants and got into some pj's, I had brought my laundry and was hoping to wash them but it wasn't that important to wash the pj pants.

Then after not a whole lot of convincing my cousin Abbie came over and with her ukulele we sang some songs about my already terrible day. I cracked my first beer as this was my plan all along to get a little inebriated to drown my stress.

I then decided that the kettle on the stove needed some water. So I took it and began to fill it up, well like a moron I forgot that adding water to a hot kettle only just makes it steam for a little while. Now I have two steam burned fingers on my right hand. The worst has a nice blister on it. That smarted.

My cousin Nathan came in and offered to put my dog poop jeans in with his work pants.

I cracked a bunch more beers and opened my mail and realized that I have been summoned for jury duty. Awesome.

I also realized I got a new phone from verizon, sweet.

I then went to bed and my fuzzy head was asleep before it even hit the pillow.

I woke up today and the smell of dog pee was all I could smell, I found where it was coming from, my pillow. So I took a shower because my hair reeked of dog pee.

After watching some Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory I decided it was time to leave and gave my cousins a hug and pet the peeing and pooping dogs on the head.

Upon entering the car I saw a bag with my ex's coffee mug, tupperware and a jar. The bag I thought I had left at his place. But nope, I left an entirely different bag at his house, full of tupperware. Frankly, he wins, the bag full of tupperware more than replaces what he had lent me. So if he ever reads this, I have your coffee mug still but keep reading and I'll keep it for the treatment of my things.

When I got home and was unloading the box that I had retrieved from my ex's house I realized that the box had gotten wet. He didn't do anything about it, or notice it. Consequently, my bedding that was inside the cardboard box is full of mold and is probably stained for life.

Best day and half ever. Not so sure I can take much more of this good luck.

Fire and Earth

I'm an April baby, born on the cusp of Taurus and Aries. So astrologically speaking, I'm a little torn. Here is what I found online as a small description of us cusp birthdays:

They enjoy challenges of all kinds, whether it is in business, sports or intellectual areas. They play as hard as they work. They are known to be flirtatious, bold, opinionated, strong, quiet, talented, sensitive, humorous, money-oriented, eloquent, dependable, practical, patient, aggressive, helpful, aloof, stubborn, jealous, moody, fickle, over-sensitive, quarrelsome and changeable. Quite a handful, aren't they?

Thank you alwaysastrology.com for that assessment.

Also Taurus is practical and well grounded while Aries is impulsive and aggressive. Where am I going with this you might ask. 'where are you going with this?' I've recently done a few impulsive things lately. Such as, buying new clothes (not something I do), drinking most of a bottle of wine by myself, and the biggest thing, buying a plane ticket to San Francisco to visit my friend. I had been trying to plan a time to go visit Sarah and I was talking with her one night and realized that my financial situation isn't so dire and that I could just book a ticket to see her. So in a matter of an hour and half I went from 'I can't come' to booking a ticket.

April is a slow month for me. I stop working at the mountain because it closes, and I don't start work until the end of the month. So I have this time on my hands. Normally, I'm so busy with work without the choice of getting some time off that I don't get to plan anything. I figured that instead of wallowing at my Aunts house and watching billions of movies all April I could instead travel. Carpe Diem. My April is shaping up quite nicely, going to North Carolina to visit my brother and future sister in law/ best friend, then directly on to San Fran to visit Sarah and then from there I go home and go to camp for my birthday, then I start work again in New Hampshire. A whirl-wind of a month but I can't think of a better way to spend it than visiting family and friends.

Cooking

I consider myself a pretty good cook. My brother has said that I'm a mix of my mom and dad when I cook. If I'm making a meal, I don't follow a recipe. I look at a few and kind of do what I feel might be best. I add this, take this away, taste, add what it tells me it needs. My dad has an uncanny ability to throw a bunch of stuff in a pan or pot and make it taste delicious. It was always an exciting night when we had 'goop'. My mom is a better baker and can follow a recipe. She made all our bread growing up and I've become a bread snob because of it. When I make pizza I make the crust too, my cinnamon rolls have fixed seemingly unfixable social situations and my bread has made a grown man cry (no I'm not joking).

But one food continues to make me shake my fist at the sky, pancakes. Yes, I know, pancakes aren't hard to make. It's the cooking process is where I always go wrong. I overcook, undercook, don't wait for the pan to get hot enough, everything wrong you could do to make you mess up a pancake, I've done it. I'm a much better back country pancake maker. It's not because things taste better in the back country, which they do, maybe it's because I'm not trying to make coffee, fiddle with the radio, and taking vitamins at the same time. It's also not like my mom never taught me how to make pancakes, I've made them with her dozens of times. So this is my new years resolution, I know it's late, to be a better pancake maker. I know, I am aim high. I'm not going for awesome, just average would be OK. To make pancakes not to be embarrassed of.

Skiing is Meditation

Today was my first real day of skiing. I say that it was the first real day because I went on the Friday before New Years and I didn't count it. I had to work, the lines were long and there were so many people I felt I playing dodge-the-tourist, instead of skiing. Last time I went it was a very intense stressful game of frogger, this time it was that nice therapeutic, meditative, speed which I love.

Skiing is comforting to me. My cousin once said that it's the only time he's ever seen me be graceful. Which is probably true. I'm not a graceful person. In fact, my life seems to be a series of mistakes and trip ups rather than some sort of higher calling. Maybe that's why today I felt 100 times better after being out on the hill. I needed to shut my mind off and just go. I think it speaks pretty loudly when I come back from spending time on my skis that I always feel the need to write about it, to share how I feel with the rest of the world.

Some might not understand how attaching two planks to your feet and careening down a frozen mountain is relaxing, but it is. Trust me. Perhaps it's because I began learning when I was 6 years old. If you watch an adult ski lesson versus and small childs ski lesson there are vast differences. 1st the adult doesn't want to mess up and almost tries too hard. A child on the other hand isn't afriad to make mistakes, to go a little out of control, to leave their comfort zone. An adult might say 'oh the kid just doesn't know how dangerous skiing can be, and isn't rightfully afraid.' I taught for three years, never once having an injured child in one of my lessons. In fact, I was the only one who has ever gotten seriously injured as a ski instructor where I work and I wasn't even teaching a lesson, I was skiing from one school to another. The worst thing that happens is a skier starts going down the hill out of control, and then sits. Seriously, the worst thing that happens to beginner skiers is a wet butt.

Once someone learns how to ski or ride it becomes second nature. There is less thought that goes into 'what should I do now' your body just responds to the situation. This is where the relaxing piece comes in. Your brain stops thinking in words and starts thinking in motion and action. Even now as I'm thinking to myself I'm thinking in words instead of feelings or emotions. It's nice to get back in touch with the part of your brain that doesn't think in just words. Skiing does this for me, every time.

Vacation Planning

I've never planned a vacation before. I've definitely helped in the process, put my two cents in, but mostly I was along the ride. This is fine with me. I don't feel the need to plan and the last couple of times that I've gone on vacation my mom has been the planner (she loves it) my brother is also someone who enjoys planning vacations. My Aunt Pat is a travel agent so whenever we book a true vacation we seek her advice as well.

Part of me wonders what all these vacation planners sound like when they call and ask about certain details of their vacation. Working at the mountain I'm the person potential guests call. I should change my title from Lodging and Reservations specialist to Vacation Consultant because sometimes that's what I feel like. People call, they ask about a billion questions, where's this, where's that, is it nice, is it near a pool? You'd be surprised how much people love their pools. I wonder where these people go to use a pool in the winter time, my hunch is they aren't going to the community pool down the road. You're coming here to ski right?! Apparently not, but whatever.

Lets go over what really happens behind the scenes at the lodging office. When people call the first time they want the 'range' of prices. So I start with the most expensive and then the least expensive, this being the 'range' I'm waiting for the day that someone asks me for the mean median and mode. The idea is that they will be pleasantly surprised when they hear about the less expensive option. But once I start to quote people on different dates for the same units, or different bed configurations, tickets, no tickets, I can just feel the guest getting flustered. I'm sure they've written it all down but I also feel sometimes that they don't write it down in a way that makes ANY sense. It's as if they have this uncanny ability to put the least expensive price, add in tickets for free, add in a night for free, during a holiday where they have a pool in their unit. Then once they're satisfied and feel they've made the best decision, after all they are going to be staying at Pretentious Bore, they call us back to book. Keep in mind these same people took about two weeks to figure out their plan. When they originally called there was only a few units left, but enough to have a nice variety of choices, but now, two weeks later, the unit they really want is gone. Keep in mind their dates are only two week away at this point. I can hear the panic welling up inside them.

'What do you mean that you don't have any rooms at Pretentious Bore?'
'They've been booked for days.'
'Well when I called two weeks ago you had rooms, why don't you have any now'
 'Because other people booked them.'
'What about the Newest-therefore-nicest house?'
'Pretentious Bore is a property, and the Newest house is a building within the property, I have nothing in any building at Pretentious Bore.'

Before because there were choices (two weeks ago), there was no sense of urgency. They said 'Oh ok, well we'll think about it, we're going to look around a little bit more, I'll talk it over with my significant other and we'll get back to you'. What REALLY happened is they didn't think about it, they didn't look around any more, in fact that piece of paper that they wrote everything down on resurfaced when they were cleaning their desk, and that same second they called their spouse who said 'sure honey whatever you want, sounds good, just book it' (voice of reason), They called back and can't read their notes very well, and the prices they have written down aren't correct to begin with. At the end of conversation they book something they really don't want, at a price they don't like, for dates they can't come. They do this just so that they feel better about themselves. They feel that they're giving their kids the best ski vacation ever and pat themselves on the back because they booked the last room. Keep in mind this is a family of 6 and they're staying in a hotel room with two queen beds, they know it'll be crammed but for right now they feel good about it.

Christmas Is Finally Here!!

Yes I know Christmas on the calendar has come and gone already. But MY Christmas with my parents is being a little spread out this year. I spent Christmas at my Aunts house and opened up presents under the tree with her and my cousin later on my other cousins and aunt and uncle came over and we celebrated with a small Yankee Swap. Which works much better in our family than a regular giving of gifts here and there.

Here is where the adventure of my Christmas began. My mom and dad had sent a Christmas package to me which contained some of my Christmas gifts from them. The package unfortunately didn't arrive in time and I had to leave the next day to go back to work. My mom was assured by the post office that it would arrive in plenty of time and not to worry. But things happen. The box went MIA for a little while. I prayed that it didn't get lost in the mail. The presents weren't the important piece but rather my stocking which I've had since I was born was what I was worried about. I received a message from my cousin the same day I left letting me know that my package had indeed arrived today. Of course, the day I leave is the day it gets there.

So now we go to plan B. My next day off was two days after Christmas. I was going to drive up, stay the night maybe and drive back in the morning. But on that day it snowed. A lot. 15 inches of snow to be exact. No driving anywhere took place. I was in desperate need of food but I made due. Plan C was then put into effect. My Aunts were going to put on their knight in shining armor suits and drive my box from Barre to Ludlow where I work on a busy holiday day in Ludlow. And then that day it snowed, albeit less, 6 inches. But enough that they didn't want to drive for 2 hours. So then Plan D was put into place. My aunt was going to drive the packages to an office she works at in West Lebanon and I could pick them up there, an hour of driving instead of 2. My best friend/ future sister in law heard about the drama of the package and said 'Hey my parents are going to be in that area on Thursday do you want me to ask if they could pick it up for you?' true story, I almost cried. After being under a lot of stress, stated in the previous post, once it was suggested I realized that yes I did indeed need someone to go and get the package. Sometimes you need others to do things for you, to help you out and I needed it. I usually do not accept these offers of help but I really wasn't in any shape to refuse it.

So Bob and Laura put in their knight and shining armor suits (every parent has one hidden somewhere, I'm sure of it) and with swords held high got my package and brought it back to Ludlow for me. My family had lovingly stuffed my stocking for me, and had added a few extra items that I didn't expect such as cookies, candy canes and a special calender. When I picked up the package I was also invited to dinner next Thursday! So while my package took the long road to me it was touched by many people I love. Thank you everyone for helping get Christmas to me!

Love

So normally I don't write about my person life here as it is a place where everyone and anyone can read it, but I feel that I need to let you all in on a set of events that recently come about.

I was dating someone for a couple of months who I thought was pretty much amazing. The sun shone out this guys ass, he could do no wrong. I trusted him and opened up in ways that I normally do not. I felt deeply happy with this person and comfortable around them. Yes, I fell in love. I'm not someone who gives my heart to another freely without hesitation and I held back for a little while and realized that I was just lying to myself. And so I felt whatever I was going to feel. I was excited to see where it was going to go.

And then he broke my heart.

Usually when someone says that another person 'broke their heart' I take it with a grain of salt, and generally come to the conclusion that they're over exaggerating the situation. But frankly, there is no other way to describe how I feel. I'm not someone who normally is governed by emotions and is pretty laid back and relaxed. I don't like drama and I seek to fix emotional conflict rather than brush it off. But I felt broken. It's unfortunate those who you let closest to you are those who can hurt you the most. He gave me reasons, and I still feel angry, and hurt. The worst part is that this person who I trusted I feel I can't trust anymore.

The point of this post isn't to wallow in misery and gain attention but rather to say that I learned something from this. Some points of clarity that I have found are that when people talk about love and hearts they aren't always being melodramatic. Another thing I learned is that maybe I needed to get my heart broken. It was good to feel intensely about someone and remember what that was like. I haven't had a boyfriend in a long time and I'd lost touch with romance and my emotions. To know that I could still open up to someone and that I wasn't strange and cold was good for me.

And so I start the New Year, a little raw, but more in touch with myself.