Bottling the Drifter

In the last five years I have lived in Vermont, Maine, Africa, Alaska, California, Wyoming, New Hampshire, and now Wisconsin. Before going to grad school I had to turn down a job in Washington state. I was a drifter, someone who moves from place to place in search of work. I usually only lived a in place for a few months and then moved on to the next job. I would ski in the winter, and was an outdoor educator in the spring summer and fall. Adventure, travel and first hand experience was what my life was about. Being a drifter was only supposed to be until I found a 'real job'. Temporary and seasonal work was just that, in case there wasn't anything better. Full time, year round work was what I really wanted after coming back from Benin. Or at least I thought. Knowing myself better now, I know that full time year round work somewhere wasn't going satisfy me. I'm a free spirit and dreamer. I always enjoyed having my next adventure, a roller coaster life. I also knew that it wasn't a long term solution to any problems.

Financial security sounds wonderful, health care also sounds amazing, being able to afford an apartment is pretty much what every seasonal employee dreams about sometimes. Not having to pack your car or your backpack every three months, not having to purge your clothes all the time, and thinking about shopping somewhere other than goodwill are realities for others, but not the drifter.

But once the drifter does quietly turn into a life of ease, being tired of the aforementioned things, surrounding themselves with the items from their storage unit and sleeping on a bed that has sheets they begin to realize something. At first they think it's great. They might have an oven, a toilet they don't have to share, wifi, a closet, and maybe even a reliable car. At night they don't have to worry about being cold, if it's going to rain and their tent leaks or if they're able to drive their car up the driveway at night. They've found the holy grail, a job that actually pays them what they feel they might need, and an apartment in their budget. So they snuggle in the comfort that financial and long term stability. Then they noticed that they have sacrificed things by living like everyone else. They begin to miss the job search, the unknown, the work hard and party harder lifestyle. They miss all their bum friends, who don't care about their clothes and lack of deodorant. They miss making new friends and family where ever they go. They begin to want that life again. It's a rash on your subconscious, always itching and the more you scratch and think about it, the worse it gets. Old habits die hard and you find yourself job searching, dreaming and thinking about how you're going to pack your car.

To say that I haven't thought this way would be a lie. New adventures are always on my mind. The drifter in me wants to pick up and go somewhere different. But I'll have to put it aside for now. Getting into graduate school on full scholarship is huge. I wasn't moving forward in my career with what I was doing. Something did have to change, and getting a masters degree is going to put me in a better place for a long time career solution. Outdoor environmental education isn't a fun way to spend a season, it's what I want to do. I know this, I know that I can have goals and can reach them. But I think everyone find themselves missing former lives, and feeling a pull from their past. Making the choice that's best for me, means saying goodbye for a little while to my drifter ways.